The Relationship Rumination
by EvolutionaryBaby
Summary: After a girls night with Penny, Amy begins to think about where her relationship with Sheldon is heading...or not heading. Penny unknowingly starts something: the evolution of Amy Farrah Fowler from bookish nerd to...party girl with a need for some lovin? Shamy, no L/P, but lots of Penny/Amy.


Ok, so hi. This is my first 'Big Bang Theory' fic, so I hope I captured everyone okay.

I own nothing.

This will eventually be Shamy. If you like Leonard, I wouldn't read this, as I'm planning on taking the piss out of him...a LOT. Ha. Don't mind me - I just think he's a bit of an ass. I love Penny, though, so there'll probably be lots of Amy/Penny interaction.

Sheldon was peeved. Surely, he thought, Penny would come up with some overly colloquial word to replace a word like _peeved – _ah, yes. _Pissed _is what the blonde would call his current disposition. But what urine had to do with anger, Sheldon didn't know. _She certainly has an odd way with words, complete hokum! It must be all that corn-fed Nebraskan vigor that makes her think comparing emotion to urine is an acceptable colloquial term. _The reason for his current predicament, however, was all Leonard's fault. Of course it would be, Sheldon thought; with his lower IQ, Leonard surely didn't know the consequences of his social interactions. _He needs social lessons of some variety – maybe I should finally enroll him in that finishing school in Texas?_

Leonard had invited Amy, Raj, Howard and Bernedette over on laundry night, exclaiming his own anger when Sheldon refused to alter his schedule. _Well I am the glue that holds this magical group of urchins together, _Sheldon enthused. They'd proceeded to fight, with Leonard storming to his room in the end, probably to cry into his Star Trek uniform.

The problem wasn't so much that Sheldon had reluctantly agreed to attend this movie night (on a _Saturday! The horror!) _– It was the lack of respect Leonard was showing for his room-mates' clearly more organized life – _a common by-product of jealousy, of course!_

His internal musings were interrupted by a solid knock to the apartment door. Moving with the appropriate swiftness, Sheldon opened the door, relieved to see Amy on the other side.

'I heard about your thrilling conundrum. I hope you realize that by agreeing to Leonard's sickly compromise, you are conceding to his inferior intellect.' Amy moved closer as she said this, tilting her pelvis toward him. _Work those hips, Fowler! _

'Well, it is troubling to be the glue of our social group. The responsibilities of leadership never cease to amaze me.' Sheldon stood ramrod-straight, somewhat uncomfortable with Amy's proximity. Realizing his own social failing, Sheldon quickly moved away from the door.

'Would you like to come in? A chilled beverage, perhaps?'

'You know the trouble I have digesting that which is overly cold – tepid iced tea will suffice.'

'Oh, forgive me.'

'Of course – a mind as brilliant as yours will always prioritise – what were you thinking about this time? The evolution of string theory? Apes brawling in a sandpit to expose – forgive the colloquial term – the principle of primates fighting for an attractive mate?'

Sheldon looked puzzled.

'Oh, your mind astounds me, Amy Farrah Fowler.'

'Thank you – and just so you know, Stuart is available to fight you for me tomorrow evening.'

'As much as I'd like to be documented as being akin to an ape brawling in a sandpit, I think I have to decline, as I will be completing my laundry.'

'I sympathize with Leonard's blatent disrespect of your perfect organizational skills,' Amy gushed.

'Thank you!' Finally someone to understand the difficulties of living with someone as intellectually evolved as those primates Amy was talking about earlier. Just as Sheldon sat in his spot, placing both tepid beverages on the table, a less confident, soft knock sounded at the door. Sheldon rose to open it, gasping in disgust as a clearly inebriated Penny dragged Leonard in by his green jacket.

'Shamy! So glad you could join us for movie night!'

Amy also rose to hug and kiss her bestie hello, gigglling internally at her best friends' light-hearted fun and warmth.

'I see you've already been tipping your noggin' in the cesspool known as the oddly termed pinot.'

'Ames, sweetie, not all wine is called pinot,' Penny laughed, still tugging at Leonard's jacket. Sheldon stood uncomfortably to the side, wondering when on Earth Leonard was finally planning on washing that dreadful hippy-dippy jacket of his.

'Well that's disappointing. Come on, let's get you another glass of pinot!'

'Sure! Anything to make this _World of the Apes _marathon from becoming...well, a _World of the Apes _marathon.'

Sheldon finally had enough of Penny's completely inappropriate social interactions.

'Penny! How many times must we go through this! It's _Planet _of the Apes - this is as bad as that _Trek Wars _jolly-golly my sister Missy used to say!'

Penny pouted, jumping at the door as she heard Howard's voice.

'No, Bernie! I said a Wonder Woman costume, not a Princess Leia one. That's like way more conservative.'

'Howie, get it through your skull. I am NOT dressing as Princess Leia for the NASA dinner!'

'Ok, maybe catwoman then?'

Sheldon sighed. This pre-evening was not going well.

Amy noticed his sigh and tried, in her own way, to comfort him.

'Cheer up, snapperdoodle. Want me to kiss the booboo?'

Sheldon noticed the empty wine glass in her hand and grimaced. Peer pressure be damned.

'Well okay then. Me and bestie are going next door for some girl-girl bonding time. Right bestie?'

'If you promise to never say 'girl-girl bonding time' again, then sure!'

'Deal. Let's go. You coming Bernadette?' She glanced at Howard and Bernadette, who had evidently made up and were now snuggling on the couch.

'No, I'm going to snuggle with my Howie.'

Penny laughed, telling them to 'make sure you use protection!' as she was pulled out the door.

...

Next door, Penny opened another bottle of wine. Amy suddenly remembered her concern for Penny's burgeoning alcoholism, and swore that she would talk to Bestie about it. Maybe tomorrow. After she'd questioned Sheldon about it.

'So Ames, what's up?'

'I'm not sure what you're referring to, unless you mean the sky, the ceiling, or the number of other possibilities.'

'No, sweetie, I mean what's up between you and Sheldon?'

'He's still the cutest little snapperdoodle I've ever seen.'

Penny laughed through her wine, little dots of the alcohol landing on the surface of her counter. Amy grimaced - _great, another thing to talk to her about._

'Right. Nothing moving along then?'

'He makes me go 'hoo' about ten times a day with no recourse for release since Gerard died, if that's what you mean.' Penny looked strange all of a sudden - _I must make sure she's taking those vitamins._

'Yeah, sure. So he really hasn't made a move on you at all? I mean I know it's Sheldon, but still...he has genitals! He told Leonard that!' Penny giggled drunkenly, trying not to think of Sheldon's genitals for fear of...well just for fear.

'I'm sure Sheldon manages his sexual urges in a manner appropriate to someone of his...what's that word? Gah, Bestie. This pinot sure is fun, but it's hell on the...brain...thingy'.

'Ha...brain thingy...said the brain scientist! I'm proud of you Ames!' Penny grabbed Amy in a one-armed hug, before reaching for the half-empty bottle of red wine, refilling both glasses.

'What do you mean?' Amy questioned, suddenly insecure as she gulped down her wine._ Once you've had a bit, pinot really isn't that bad. It's no tepid sparkling water, but still...not bad!_

'I mean you're like growing as a person! Getting piddled with a girlfriend, soon you'll be dancing the night away, being sociable and everything!'

'I know. Soon we'll be as fabulous as those girls from _Sex and the City. _Without the dirtiness, of course.'

'Sure, because there's totally a point to the girls that isn't sex. I get you! But Ames, don't _you _ever want a little more Shelly than Sheldon? Like don't you wanna...you know?' Penny gestured wildly, feeling suddenly sleepy. A blush spread throughout her face. She noticed, though, that Amy suddenly seemed a bit sad.

'Well yes, but I'm not sure Sheldon sees me that way.'

'Honey, Sheldon doesn't see anyone that way.'

'That would be easier to bear if he at least kissed me once in a while. I never thought he'd be able to resist this wild pelvis for this long!' Amy put a hand on her hip, jutting out her pelvis as if to demonstrate.

'Well if Sheldon isn't giving you what you need, don't you think it may be time to look elsewhere?'

Amy was suddenly struck with an idea. Just because Sheldon didn't find her attractive, surely that didn't mean nobody would. There was nothing in the relationship agreement that mentioned other people...

'Bestie, can you help me?' Penny was suddenly struck by the little-girl look on Amy's face.

'Sure, what is it?'

'Give me a makeover, and take me out dancing tomorrow.'

'Sure sweetie, let's see what we can do.'

Remember: Reviews are like food. Don't feed me, and my story will die! Kidding, but reviews would be nice!


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